Healing Spirit with Love

Healing Spirit with Love

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Break Free from Your Self-Imposed Prison

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Happy WomanWhat if at this moment in time you could be happy and fully accept every circumstance in your life as being 100% perfect as it is? Do you know what that looks like or feels like? Let’s freeze frame this moment in time right now and examine our lives. Right now, I am sitting here writing this article, which is an activity that I love to do. You are reading it, which I hope is an activity that you love to do. There are many aspects to both of our lives that may seem imperfect or problematic, depending on how you look at them. For instance, I am a single woman who has spent many years searching for a great partner to share my life with. I could be very upset, depressed, or feel hopeless about prayers that seem to have gone unanswered, or I could see and fully embrace that there is an important reason or reasons why, up to this point, that I have remained single. I can tell you this, it is not because God is punishing me, or that I am not worthy of reciprocated love. It is because that was the path that I was supposed to take in order to get me to this very moment in time. From this point forward, anything can happen.

Infinite Possibilities
By letting go of any preconceived notions that I have about how my life will go, or even my day, I open myself to infinite possibilities. Stop and think about that for a moment. Drink it in. Allow your mind to expand to the fact that anything can happen; that your life does not need to go down a certain path, but that it can go down any path at any given moment. Just because certain circumstances have occurred in the past, it does not mean that they have to occur that way in the future. You are not handed a script each morning for the events of your day. Anything can happen…even your most heartfelt dreams coming true. Let yourself envision all of the wonderful possibilities for you. See your dreams coming true, and feel it in your heart. Know within your entire being that you are meant to be happy, and allow that knowing to permeate your entire being – your thoughts, your feelings, your heart, your spirit.

Let Go of the Wheel!
The desire to control each and every aspect of our lives actually closes us off from divine intervention that could help us in our efforts on earth. Frustration, anger, and disappointment can end up ruling our thoughts when events do not turn out the way we think we want them to go. These negative emotions have the potential to cloud our judgment, making it difficult to see the positive in seemingly negative situations. It could be that if your life had gone in the direction that you were trying so hard to steer it in, that you would miss out on even greater opportunities for happiness. By letting go of the desire to control circumstances and others (which is futile, by the way), you open yourself up to allowing the universe to step in and answer your prayers in the best possible ways.

Telling the Ego to Take a Backseat
The human ego is the mechanism in our minds that drives that desire to control, and it was put in place as a challenge that we are meant to overcome. The ego is very persistent, and is constantly looking for opportunities to jump in and heap on a slew of negative thoughts that are based on the illusion created by fear. It loves to try to make you think that events are more important than they really are by pressing you with guilt to perform certain actions, such as throwing an expensive birthday party for your kids or buying that “must-have” gadget. When you learn how to recognize the ego’s presence and voice in your thoughts, you can thank it for doing its job well, and let it know that you are not in need of its services at this time. You can be stronger with your dismissal if it persists, and the best way to dismiss it is to embrace the love within your heart that you have for yourself and others. Let the voice of the ego fade into the background, and give rise to the voice of your spirit which will guide you to your heart’s desires.

Action from the Heart
By the way, letting go of the need to control outcomes does not mean that you take no action. It means that you take actions that bring you happiness and you find joy in each moment, no matter what the task. It also means that you let go of expectations and allow your heavenly support team to step in and help you. There are many ways that guidance will come to you. The easiest to recognize is when it comes through repetitive thoughts and messages to take positive actions. Please note that the ego may try to step in and tell you that these actions are far-fetched or impossible to carry out. For instance, I have been given guidance to write my next book. By following the guidance and writing it, I may be triggering events that will answer my prayers. If you find yourself dragging your feet about taking a certain action, it may be time to thank the ego again for doing its job, and let it know that its services are not needed at this time. If you are having difficulty recognizing guidance from your heavenly support team, you may want to perform some emotional and spiritual housekeeping to help you to open up.

Many of us carry the pain of the past in our hearts. The human ego loves to dredge up this pain to keep us mired in feelings of futility. Remember, it is the ego’s job to place challenges in our way, and it will use whatever means necessary to block us from happiness. It is our job to recognize its tactics in order to move past the obstacles, and embrace the light within our spirits from which true guidance is born.

To move forward with an open heart, accept your past and thank all of the circumstances that have led you to this moment in time. All of the situations you have encountered have served an important role in the growth of your soul, and now it is time to release any lingering sadness or negativity, and move forward with love and understanding. Envision a beautiful, soft pink light in the center of your chest, which is also known as your heart chakra. Truly feel the loving energy as it sweeps away the past with acceptance and forgiveness, and replaces it with the lighter energy of love that grows to encompass your entire being. Allow yourself to revel in loving energy so that you can recall it any time you feel the need to release or re-release any negative feelings that may have tried to accumulate in your heart. The past is over and cannot be relived, and the future is yet to be. Only in the present can we truly live and enjoy each moment, and in this very moment, everything is exactly as it is supposed to be.

Setting Yourself Free
By embracing happiness and fully accepting every circumstance in your life as 100% perfect as it is, you are putting your absolute trust in God. You are loving every part of you, just as you are. You are accepting that you are in the perfect place for you right now. Most importantly, you are living, embracing, and accepting this moment. Here are some of the affirmations that I use to reaffirm my acceptance and faith in the perfection of this moment:

  • I place my absolute trust in God, and know that the universe fully supports me.
  • I am safe, and I am loved.
  • I love every part of me, just as I am.
  • What I think of me is more important than what anyone else thinks of me.
  • I am in the perfect place for me right now.
  • I know that I am loved absolutely by God, and that he wants me to succeed in life, and will help me to do so.
  • I am open to the guidance I receive from God and the angels through repetitious thoughts and messages that are guiding me to my true heart’s desires.
  • I know that God’s idea of success in life has to do with how much love I share with myself and others. My success does not have anything to do with the size of my bank account or the type of job that I have, but about the lessons in love that I incorporate into my daily existence.
  • I forgive any and all who have hurt me, knowing that we are all human, and that we all make mistakes.
  • I accept that every situation and experience in my life has made me into the beautiful person that I am. I thank God for all that has transpired, is transpiring, and will transpire in my life.

The Effects of Freedom
My life has changed in profound ways through the freedom I have embraced with these concepts. I am happier and much more relaxed. I can see on a daily basis how I am being helped by God and my heavenly support team. By no longer being attached to specific outcomes or trying to control events, I find myself flowing much more easily with the events and circumstances that come into my life. This change in my outlook came about because I felt like I was constantly fighting my way through life. I was tired, and I asked and pleaded to God to help me. I did not want to spend my life battling uphill. I want to be happy and to enjoy all that life has to offer. In the weeks after, I kept hearing the words “let it go” in my mind whenever I was struggling with a particular issue. The hilarious part is that the song from Disney’s Frozen® would then play in my mind. My guys and gals in heaven have a great sense of humor.

By sharing this information with you, I hope that you, too, can experience a level of happiness and satisfaction with your life that enables you to make the most of it. Everyone, including you, deserves to be happy…and you can be when you set yourself free.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Psychic Amnesia: What Is It and Why Does It Occur During a Spirit Medium Reading?

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QuestionsA spirit medium reading is a three-way system of communication in which a spirit communicates with a spirit medium, the spirit medium receives and transmits the information to the recipient of the reading, and the recipient identifies the loved one in spirit that is coming through and opens themselves up to the messages that are being shared. It is a cooperative effort that requires active participation from the being in spirit, the spirit medium, and the recipient of the reading.

At times, the recipient of the reading may not readily recall the person or animal who is coming through, or they may not immediately recognize the symbols or messages that are being shared. This phenomenon is often referred to as psychic amnesia. There are many reasons why this can happen, even when everyone involved is doing their best to ensure clear and concise communications.

Reasons Why Psychic Amnesia Can Occur

  • Only wanting to hear from one person
  • Concentrating only on people who recently passed
  • Thinking of your own perspective of the person, and not the perspective of the person coming through
  • Waiting for a code word, name, or specific message
    • No matter how much unique identifying information is brought through, some people will not believe that it is one of their loved ones in spirit unless they hear a specific word, name, or message.
  • In a group reading setting, some people do not want to be the center of attention
  • Denial based in fear
    • Some people do not want to revisit the pain of someone’s passing.
    • People have mentioned that they denied knowing the person coming through because they were fearful of the emotions that would be brought forth.
    • Some people may be uncomfortable with spirit communication because they do not understand how it works.
    • At times, people do not want to hear from a particular person due to painful situations encountered in life, and will, therefore, deny that they recognize them.
  • Fear of the unknown
  • Skepticism about spirit communication
    • People who have had negative experiences with people who were not authentic or genuine, or they may have heard stories from others about this, may not want to believe the information coming through.
    • Strong religious beliefs or teachings that deny that this type of communication exists or is a product of negative beings may be deeply ingrained in someone and they may not be receptive to the information being brought forth.
  • Thinking only of family, not friends, neighbors, associates, or others
  • Being awestruck
    • This can happen at any time, but most often when someone is sitting for a reading for the first time. It is as if their thinking mind has stopped functioning and they cannot even remember details about their own lives, let alone loved ones who have passed.
  • Not understanding how spirit communication works
    • Spirit communication is a complex process that involves the use of all of the spirit medium’s senses. People who are not familiar with the way it works may sometimes think that it is as simple as a fireside chat in which all information about a person’s life is easily shared.
  • Impaired judgment due to inebriation
  • Distraction
    • Thinking of other things and not living in the moment.
    • Not paying attention to the information that is being shared.
  • Fatigue
    • If someone is very tired or exhausted, it may be challenging for them to recall information or to recognize it when it is coming through.
  • Strong grief
    • Messages may be brought through but the person may be so distraught that they have a hard time hearing and digesting the messages.
  • Sometimes the information that is shared in a reading may be referring to a future situation that will be occurring
    • Loved ones in spirit and the angels may share visions and information about events that have not yet occurred. In this case, the person sitting for a reading would have no prior knowledge about events that have yet to be.

Ways to Sidestep Psychic Amnesia

  • Keep an open mind
    • You never know who is going to come through, nor can you anticipate the message that they will bring.
    • Your loved ones in spirit know who you need to hear from and why. Keep in mind that they view your life from an enlightened perspective and they bring through information that will bring healing, love and success for the evolution of your soul.
    • Be open to the information coming through because your loved ones in spirit are doing their best to share information using a very intricate communication process that involves the transference of their messages through the use of all of the spirit medium’s senses. It is not as clear-cut or as simple as a fireside chat.
    • Know that anyone that has passed can come through, including in-laws, friends, family, acquaintances, co-workers, relations whom you never met but who know you from watching over you from heaven, your pets and others whom you knew or visited, and more.
    • Be aware that acquaintances, friends, and coworkers from your past may want to come through to let you know just how much their relationship with you meant to them.
  • Release your fears and trust in the existence of higher powers
    • Receiving communications from your loved ones in spirit is an incredible experience that originates from the most powerful force in the universe—love. This amazing force comes from our Creator who wants nothing but the best for each and every one of us.
    • Be aware that fears are often an illusion that block us from achieving our dreams and living the lives we are meant to live.
  • Prepare for your spirit medium reading
    • Familiarize yourself with the process. I provide articles and brief videos to help people understand how spirit communication works. In addition, I explain how spirits communicate with me prior to each reading that I provide.
    • Know that spirit communication is a very complex process that involves the full participation and cooperation of you, your loved ones in spirit, and the spirit medium.
  • Record your reading and/or take notes
    • If you do not remember a person or symbol right away, there is a good chance that you will remember later or that the information that shared will be revealed at a time in the near future. Having notes or a recording will allow you to revisit the information shared within a spirit medium reading, which may trigger memories, or you can reference it when an event occurs that was mentioned in your reading.
  • Be awake, alert, and sober as this is a special form of communication that requires your active participation
  • Allow time to grieve before contacting a spirit medium for a reading
    • In the first stage of grief, which includes feelings of anger and denial of the person’s passing, it is best to wait until your heart and spirit have begun to heal and accept the person’s or pet’s passing.
  • Do not be too hard on yourself if you temporarily forget loved ones or certain symbols
    • Taking notes or recording your reading will help you to remember.
    • There may be a reason outside of yourself as to why you are not remembering information right away. For instance, my sister-in-law’s experience with psychic amnesia was an important catalyst for life-altering events that occurred in my own life. She was not recognizing messages coming through from my father, and because of that, I felt compelled to visit the same spirit medium to see what he had to say. If these events had not occurred in this way, I may not have re-awakened to my own gifts of mediumship.

Relax and Enjoy the Experience of a Spirit Medium Reading
Most of all, it is important to make the most of your spirit medium reading by relaxing and allowing the process to naturally unfold. If you open yourself up to this incredible form of communication, the healing of spirit that comes from a spirit medium reading can change your life in amazing ways. Enjoy the communications that are coming through from your loved ones in spirit, as they as are motivated by love, which is the greatest gift that can be transmitted from one being to another.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

The Importance of Self-Care

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Lake at Omega_300x200In the midst of life’s chaos it is very important to take time out to take care of you. Even with a multitude of responsibilities on your shoulders, if you keep pushing you will not only burn yourself out, but also will block you from opportunities that could make your way easier. God knows that you can only accomplish so much in one day. The Creator does not want you to push yourself to the point of exhaustion and illness, but rather when these times of great pressure occur, you are encouraged to take a step back from the hustle and bustle and just breathe.

Driven by the Human Ego
The chaos that we experience is based on a drive by the ego to make us believe that certain earthly concerns are of the utmost importance. The human ego has a very subtle and determined way of pushing our consciousness away from the divine, as well as the light and love that is within each one of us. Awareness of when the ego is steering your actions, which is usually accompanied by a feeling of heavy pressure and a sense that your life is out of your control, can help you to recognize when it is time to take a step back and make time for self-care.

But There Is So Much to Do!
It may seem counterintuitive to set the mountain of responsibilities aside in order to take care of you, especially when you think about how that time can be used to take a significant chunk out of those tasks. But if you stop and really think about it, when are our responsibilities ever truly completed? When does the list of tasks ever end? There will always be mundane projects, responsibilities, and tasks to accomplish, because once you finish one, there are five more that have jumped in line right behind it. Interestingly, the tasks you do get done in a day are the ones you were supposed to accomplish, even if some are still big ones left on the list undone. The pressure to complete them is usually self-created. Ask yourself this when looking at your list: Will the world come to an end if I do this tomorrow instead of right this second? By the way, for those of you who are procrastinators, this is not a license to throw all responsibilities to the wind. At some point, you will need to step up and take care of those tasks, and if you take measured steps each day, you will find that your tasks are getting accomplished.

Step Back and Carve Out
It is recommended that you, especially in the midst of chaos, take the time to step back and carve out some time just for you. Tasks will always be there, but the sun rising up out of the mist on a lake will wait for no one. Hug your kids, play with your pets, schedule a massage or energy healing session, create beauty in the world…do whatever brings you happiness and makes your spirit sing a song of joy.

Carpe Diem – Seize the Day!
This day is yours to enjoy. When reviewing your life, it will not be the hours of completing an endless litany of tasks that you will remember and cherish, but rather the magical moments of connection with the people and animals in your life, the awareness of divine intervention in the realization of your dreams, the incredible beauty of nature that gives breath to your soul, and the supreme love and synchronization that you have with yourself and all of creation.

Reaping the Harvest of Self-Love
Embracing the concept of self-care is also about embracing self-love. Caring for yourself—mind, body, and spirit—is not only important, but also as essential as the air we breathe. It is a conscious choice that you can make that will provide more long-term soul benefits than any mundane task on your list. Giving yourself the gift of self-care today will reap a harvest of peace within your soul that will quiet the rush of pressing tasks, and allow you to move forward once again with renewed energy and purpose.

Divine Opportunities Delivered with Wings
The pause in the seemingly ceaseless actions will give your heavenly support team an opportunity to step into your situation and answer your prayers. Pushing with the will of ego has a tendency to block out the light, as well as divine guidance and assistance. Some of the most powerful moments in my life have come during the times that I let go of the steering wheel and took time out for self-care. It is because I left an opening for the divine to step in and help me. It is in this stillness and the release of self-imposed pressure that you, too, may experience some of the most amazing circumstances of your life.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Receiving Closure and Managing Grief Associated with the Loss of a Loved One

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AngelYour loved ones in spirit and other members of your heavenly support team know when you are struggling to move through certain stages of the grief process. While grieving for the loss of loved one is healthy, becoming stuck in a certain stage of the grief process can be very detrimental to your life.

Four Stages of the Grieving Process
The four main stages of the grieving process, which I describe in detail in my book, How Have You Loved?, are outlined below:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Sadness
  • Acceptance

A person may fluctuate between the various stages before they reach the final stage of acceptance and peace with a loved one’s passing. Often, people spend a lot of time in the second and third stages of anger and sadness. The anger is usually directed at God for “taking them away” from you, and the great sadness is often for the physical loss of the person’s presence in your life. It is important to note that God does not punish us. He does not call your loved ones back home to heaven in retaliation for any of your actions, past or present. When a soul is called home, it is because it is the time that was agreed to prior to birth.

Agreements Prior to Birth
The time and the manner in which someone physically passes is determined before a person is born on earth. In heaven, we create soul contracts which outline the various lessons that we are going to learn on our spiritual journey on earth. Members of our soul groups, such as our immediate families, coworkers, extended family members, and more, work with us to create plans that will enable each of our souls to grow and reach their full potential.

Life Lessons
The lessons that are selected may require great sacrifices, such as leaving life on earth at an early age in order to help others to learn how to cope with the tragic loss of a loved one. Successfully working through the various stages of grief and learning to accept a person’s passing are two examples of the outcomes of lessons. There is help along the way, such as messages sent to you by your loved ones in spirit, people who enter your life to provide assistance, and books that offer knowledge that broadens your understanding that endings must occur in order for new beginnings to take place.

Answers with Perfect Timing
The relationships that you have with the people around you can offer you powerful resources for healing in ways that you have not even imagined. Our heavenly support teams support us and work through us on earth by placing people in our paths at the right time and the right place. Friends, loved ones, acquaintances, and even strangers may provide answers to our prayers with a perfectly timed call, visit, or meeting that gives us the information we need about our lives. Many times, these instances seem like amazing coincidences; however, there are no coincidences, but rather fantastic examples of coordinated efforts by our heavenly support teams to answer our prayers and requests.

Heavenly Support Teams Join Together
It is interesting to note that people who come to me for spirit medium readings have actually been prompted to do so by their heavenly support teams. Your loved ones in heaven contact the loved ones in heaven who are helping me with my work on earth. Together, they begin the collaboration process to facilitate our meeting with one another.

Your heavenly support team knows when and how you would benefit from direct communications from your loved ones in spirit and the angels, and they ensure that you receive information that prompts you to set up an appointment with a spirit medium. Usually the prompting is both internal and external. You may receive messages and signs that stir your curiosity about mediumship or a reading, and you may have seemingly coincidental experiences occur in which a friend suddenly starts talking about spirit communication, or you see or read something that piques your interest about heaven and receiving messages from the Other Side.

Additionally, your loved ones in spirit will chime in by placing signs in your path that remind you of them and to, hopefully, prompt you to seek out a spirit medium or knowledge that will help you to interpret the signs and messages they send you. To get your attention, your loved ones in spirit may send you signs in the form of objects or images that make you think of them, unusual electronic disturbances that alert you to their presence, music that touches your soul and answers your prayers, and scents piped into the air, such as their perfume or cigarette smoke. Your heavenly support team will also send you intuitive messages in their attempts to steer you toward a meeting with a particular spirit medium, book, or positive path for growth.

Free Will is a Beautiful Gift
What you do with your life lessons and the promptings you receive is your choice. You may choose to ignore the assistance that makes itself known in your life every day, or you can choose to open yourself to the growth and healing that is available. Your loved ones in heaven and your angels want to help you succeed, and they will do what they can to help you on your journey. When you choose to ignore lessons and assistance, you tend to make your journey on earth significantly more challenging for yourself. When you keep an open mind and embrace the mentality that life is a spiritual journey for the benefit of the soul, then you can learn how to live your life in a way that allows the greatest benefit while releasing self-imposed stress, grief, and sadness. The beauty of the gift of free will is that each one of us is given the power to control the choices we make that govern our lives.

You Can Take It With You!
Even though someone may be physically separated from you on earth, your relationship with that person, as well as the love you share, continues on. Your loved ones in spirit watch over you from heaven, they hear your thoughts about them, and feel the love that you send their way. In return, they continuously send you messages of love, healing, and guidance, as well signs that they are around.

Receiving Closure
Your loved ones in spirit know how you would benefit from receiving information that provides healing to your heart and your soul. When participating in a spirit medium reading, they will share with you their love, information about what they are doing in heaven, advice for you about your life, information that will help heal your heart and soul, and more. The peace and healing that comes from receiving direct messages from your loved ones in spirit through a spirit medium reading can provide comfort and closure to those who are grieving, as well as guidance and light for you and your loved ones on earth.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Reiki Energy Healing: Feel Your Best and Enhance Your Spiritual Journey

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Reiki Energy FlowAll living beings are comprised of energy, including human beings. When we experience stress or are exposed to harmful or negative energies, it can have an effect on the energies that comprise our minds, bodies, and spirits. Most of the time, our systems are self-healing; however, when we are continually exposed to distressing or disruptive energies, our systems may struggle to right themselves. When we leave the issues unaddressed, it can lead to physical illness, mental distress, or blockages to spiritual development. Reiki Energy Healing naturally restores you to your optimum self through the utilization of the universal life force energies that come from our Creator.

Rediscovered in 1922 by Dr. Mikao Usui, a practicing Buddhist from Japan, and brought to the United States by Hawaiian-born Hawayo Takada, Reiki energy healing provides a way to help your system to heal itself by sending restorative energies to the areas that are negatively affected by extenuating circumstances and stress. Reiki practitioners channel the healing energies with love and the positive intention of restoring you to your optimum state of being.

As the recipient of a Reiki energy healing session, you will feel relaxed and rejuvenated as the reviving energy flows through the practitioner to you. Reiki can be applied for the removal of accumulated negative energies, as well as for preventative and maintenance purposes, the healing of minor ailments, and as an accompanying treatment to traditional medicinal practices for major conditions, such as arthritis, sinusitis, and cancer.

Reiki is soothing to the soul. It can be applied to uplift energy, improve effectiveness of medicine, and to maximize nutritional value of food and drink. Anyone can be taught how to utilize Reiki energy through formal workshops that teach the traditions and methods for transferring the energies to the self and others. In addition, Reiki can assist in the opening of your spiritual centers to make you more receptive to the messages and guidance from loved ones and the angels. Your personal spiritual journey can only be enhanced through this natural healing practice that you can access at any time throughout your life.

There are three levels of Reiki workshops. Each successive workshop provides increasing degrees of expertise, up to and including, the ability to be a formal practitioner and master teacher. Each level of Reiki includes a special attunement that increasingly opens up a student’s ability to skillfully channel more of the universal life force energy. Level 1 delves into the history and traditions of Reiki, and includes methodologies and symbology for self-healing and minor healing for others. Level 2 is for those interested in becoming a practitioner and/or setting up a formal practice and includes more advanced healing techniques. Level 3 is for those interested in becoming a Master, which is the highest level of Reiki and imbues the student with the ability to teach Reiki to others.

To learn more about Reiki energy healing sessions or workshops, visit the Reiki Energy Healing or the Workshops pages on my website: www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

When and How to Say No

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Confident WomanLoving who you are and believing in yourself means that you value yourself enough to know when to say no to someone who wants to take advantage of your kindness or who wants you to do something you really do not want to do. People who were raised to always be polite or are looking for approval and acceptance from others can have a tendency to agree to certain actions that they do not want to participate in because they are afraid of being perceived as rude or they are afraid of being rejected.

It Starts with You
Love and respect comes from within you. You must respect and honor yourself and your feelings. If you do not, others will not respect and honor you either. The person or persons who do not respect your right to say no may not have your best interests at heart. If they continue to push you, they are most likely trying to force their own agenda onto you. Some people may have legitimate and honorable reasons for doing so; however, if there is something you do not want to do, then you should not do it.

Own Your Personal Power
It is also important to note that when you say no, you do not have to give reasons or excuses. This may be tough to do at first because societal conditioning regarding excessive politeness and strong desires to fit in or be liked may prompt you to want to give an excuse to garner approval. Excuses are like weak links in your self-esteem, they give someone more information that they can use as a way of breaking your resistance to their request or demand. Your reasons are your own, and you do not need to explain yourself to anyone. If someone continues to aggressively push you, you have the right to step away from the situation. Again, anyone who tries to push you that hard is most likely focusing on an agenda that will not benefit you, especially if they are asking you to compromise yourself or your values.

How are You Treating Others?
On the other side of this, if you are aggressively trying to convince someone to do something that they do not want to do, it would be best to respect their decision. It is possible to open up a dialog that could result in an equitable compromise; however, each person involved must be in agreement as to how to proceed. The solution should not overly tax one person’s resources over another’s, nor should you have to compromise your values or yourself in order to achieve an equitable agreement that supports all parties involved.

Healing Begins with Dialog
Saying no to someone just to be spiteful or taking actions against someone out of spite is another matter altogether. This type of behavior is vengeful and is based on a desire to hurt someone. If you find yourself doing this, you may want to take a close look at why you chose to respond in this manner. If someone has hurt you, answering their misinformed behavior by attempting to deliver pain will not bring about healing. It will only escalate the painful situation even more, and may bring about disastrous results for both parties. A healthier way to handle this situation would be to discuss with the person or persons involved the actions or behaviors that brought you pain. Give them a chance to explain why they acted the way they did. Sometimes, people are not aware that their actions hurt you. By talking about it, you are giving yourselves the opportunity to foster understanding and healing through open dialog.

What to Do if Conversation Is not Possible
If a conversation is not possible because the person refuses to listen or if it would put you in a position that threatens your safety, then it may be best for you to walk away from this relationship and forgive them for their actions. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone their actions. It means that you are unwilling to carry toxic feelings within your heart. By cleansing yourself of the negative feelings brought about by carrying grudges, you can free yourself of the emotional black cloud you have been attracting and invite more positive experiences in your life. Remember, like attracts like. If your thoughts are concentrated on negative experiences, you will most likely draw more of the same toward you. When your thoughts are more positive and based on forgiving people for the mistakes they have made, then you will most likely draw more loving and understanding relationships into your life.

Honor and Respect Multiplies
Honor yourself by making decisions that are in alignment with you and your values. When you give in and do things that you do not want to do, you are giving other people the power to take advantage of you. You can retain your power in a healthy and assertive way by standing up for yourself in a calm and self-assured manner. Aggressiveness, yelling, and strong-arming tactics create unhealthy relationship dynamics that often lead to negative consequences. You can be polite and tell people no at the same time. In fact, they may even respect you more for it because respect for yourself cultivates respect from others.

Ask for Help
If you need help believing in yourself, learning how to say no, or communicating from your heart when facing trying circumstances, you can always call on your heavenly support team to assist you. Ask them to lend you the spiritual strength you need to stand up for yourself in a positive way or to resolve the situation in a way that is for the good of all parties involved. Know that your loved ones in spirit, your angels, and your spirit guides want you to succeed on your spiritual journey on earth, and will send love, peace, and spiritual strength when you ask for it.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

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