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SpiritMedium

Countering Meanness with Kindness

November 5, 2014 by SpiritMedium Leave a Comment

FriendsWhen someone is having a bad day, they may lash out at you just because you are there, not because you had done anything to invoke their anger. It is unfortunate when someone behaves in this manner; however, we are all human and, at times, our emotions get the best of us.

Reasons behind Hurtful Behavior and Our Reactions
Exhaustion, highly stressful situations, feelings of oppression, rejection, and other strongly negative contributing factors make us more susceptible to lashing out at whoever is within our vicinity. The longer a person is subjected to negative conditions, the more distraught they may become. In fact, they may not even seem to behave like themselves because they are having a hard time moving beyond a state of distress. Your instinctive response may be to fire back at the person in an effort to protect or defend yourself. This is because you may feel threatened in some way by their behavior, as anger can be perceived as an attack. It is under these conditions that people on the receiving end of a person’s negative and uncharacteristic behavior should try to take a step back before replying with more anger, which may lead to an escalated exchange of negative energies, as well as damaged or broken relationships.

Assess the Situation before Reacting
Before responding, try to look at the situation from the other person’s point of view. What is going on with them that they would lash out at you for what seems to be no reason? This behavior can be a cry for help. It can also be that this person is harboring a lot of negative feelings within themselves that they are having a hard time handling. A person who lashes out is usually feeling a tremendous amount of pressure and stress, and like anything else, that pressure needs to be relieved or it will cause an explosion. Instead of responding with anger that will feed into the existing pressure, do your best to respond with kindness and compassion, even if the person does not appreciate it at the time. In this way, you may stop the escalation of anger and prevent it from infecting you. Your understanding and empathy may be the very act of kindness this person needs to relieve their stress and realize just how badly they were behaving toward others who did not deserve it.

Ask for Assistance from Above
If you are having difficulty dispensing kindness in the face of someone else’s hurtful behavior, ask your heavenly support team to help you to increase your compassion toward others. In addition, ask them to help the person who is in distress, as they are the ones most in need of assistance. Send the distressed person love and light from your heart and spirit, and request that they receive the healing they need to relieve them of the distress and pent up anger in order to live a happy and satisfied life.

What Is Inside of You?
If you find it is you who is lashing out at others and walking around with anger in your heart and mind, then it is time to take an in-depth look at what is really bothering you, and apologize, if possible, to those that you hurt.

To discover what is going on, the first step is recognizing and identifying the true problem. For example, getting extremely angry at your partner for leaving their socks on the floor after asking them several times not to, may only be a surface trigger that signals the existence of a deeper problem, such as of a sense of not being heard or appreciated at work and at home. Often, it is miscommunications and misunderstandings that lead to problems within relationships. By examining and uncovering the true problems, you can begin to work on positive solutions to heal them.

The second step is to look for solutions that will improve the circumstances that are causing the problems. Are there actions you can take to improve your situation or remove yourself from it? If not, are there ways that you can change the way that you perceive the situations that will ease your emotional pain? It may seem as if there is no way out and that the problems are formidable; however, that line of thinking can be the product of limited thinking that is boxed in by only seeing the problem. Try your best to get past step one, and open your mind to various solutions. There are other options available. They may not always appear to be the options you want to take; however, if you can let go of your anger and stress long enough to clear your mind, you may discover that the options may lead you to better opportunities. Be sure to ask others for help. Brainstorm ideas with respected friends, family members, or colleagues. By being truthful with yourself and others as you go through this process, you will not only help yourself on a human level, but also on a soul level, as you evolve and develop through these empowering experiences.

The third step is to be kind to yourself. If you are working to the point of exhaustion, take a step back. A break from the stressful situations will allow you time to refresh and look at situations with a more relaxed state of mind. Most important of all, ask your heavenly support team of God, the archangels, past spiritual masters, spirit guides, and loved ones in spirit, to help you. They are eager to lend a hand, and will do so if you ask for their assistance and are open to receiving their help. Sometimes, too, when you leave an opening for your heavenly support team to help out, they may just solve the problem for you through the presentation of new opportunities.

Multiply the Kindness in the World
As you go throughout your day, keep in mind that we are all human, we all make mistakes, and we are all doing the best we can under the circumstances that affect our lives. By countering meanness with kindness, we provide opportunities to make positive contributions that have the potential to bring healing to our lives and the lives of others.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Filed Under: Guidance for Living Tagged With: act of kindness, angels, anger, apologize, assistance, broken relationships, colleagues, compassion, cry for help., deeper problem, dispensing kindness, distress, emotional pain, empathy, escalation of anger, existing pressure, family members, friends, god, happy, healing, heavenly support team, human, human level, hurtful behavior, identifying the true problem, kindness, lashing out, limited thinking, loved ones in spirit, meanness, miscommunications, mistakes, misunderstandings, negative feelings, new opportunities, open your mind, oppression, past spiritual masters, pent up anger, positive contributions, rejection, relaxed state of mind eager to lend a hand, satisfied life, solutions, soul level, spirit guides, spiritual, stress, tremendous amount of pressure and stress, understanding

Psychic Amnesia: What Is It and Why Does It Occur During a Spirit Medium Reading?

October 14, 2014 by SpiritMedium Leave a Comment

QuestionsA spirit medium reading is a three-way system of communication in which a spirit communicates with a spirit medium, the spirit medium receives and transmits the information to the recipient of the reading, and the recipient identifies the loved one in spirit that is coming through and opens themselves up to the messages that are being shared. It is a cooperative effort that requires active participation from the being in spirit, the spirit medium, and the recipient of the reading.

At times, the recipient of the reading may not readily recall the person or animal who is coming through, or they may not immediately recognize the symbols or messages that are being shared. This phenomenon is often referred to as psychic amnesia. There are many reasons why this can happen, even when everyone involved is doing their best to ensure clear and concise communications.

Reasons Why Psychic Amnesia Can Occur

  • Only wanting to hear from one person
  • Concentrating only on people who recently passed
  • Thinking of your own perspective of the person, and not the perspective of the person coming through
  • Waiting for a code word, name, or specific message
    • No matter how much unique identifying information is brought through, some people will not believe that it is one of their loved ones in spirit unless they hear a specific word, name, or message.
  • In a group reading setting, some people do not want to be the center of attention
  • Denial based in fear
    • Some people do not want to revisit the pain of someone’s passing.
    • People have mentioned that they denied knowing the person coming through because they were fearful of the emotions that would be brought forth.
    • Some people may be uncomfortable with spirit communication because they do not understand how it works.
    • At times, people do not want to hear from a particular person due to painful situations encountered in life, and will, therefore, deny that they recognize them.
  • Fear of the unknown
  • Skepticism about spirit communication
    • People who have had negative experiences with people who were not authentic or genuine, or they may have heard stories from others about this, may not want to believe the information coming through.
    • Strong religious beliefs or teachings that deny that this type of communication exists or is a product of negative beings may be deeply ingrained in someone and they may not be receptive to the information being brought forth.
  • Thinking only of family, not friends, neighbors, associates, or others
  • Being awestruck
    • This can happen at any time, but most often when someone is sitting for a reading for the first time. It is as if their thinking mind has stopped functioning and they cannot even remember details about their own lives, let alone loved ones who have passed.
  • Not understanding how spirit communication works
    • Spirit communication is a complex process that involves the use of all of the spirit medium’s senses. People who are not familiar with the way it works may sometimes think that it is as simple as a fireside chat in which all information about a person’s life is easily shared.
  • Impaired judgment due to inebriation
  • Distraction
    • Thinking of other things and not living in the moment.
    • Not paying attention to the information that is being shared.
  • Fatigue
    • If someone is very tired or exhausted, it may be challenging for them to recall information or to recognize it when it is coming through.
  • Strong grief
    • Messages may be brought through but the person may be so distraught that they have a hard time hearing and digesting the messages.
  • Sometimes the information that is shared in a reading may be referring to a future situation that will be occurring
    • Loved ones in spirit and the angels may share visions and information about events that have not yet occurred. In this case, the person sitting for a reading would have no prior knowledge about events that have yet to be.

Ways to Sidestep Psychic Amnesia

  • Keep an open mind
    • You never know who is going to come through, nor can you anticipate the message that they will bring.
    • Your loved ones in spirit know who you need to hear from and why. Keep in mind that they view your life from an enlightened perspective and they bring through information that will bring healing, love and success for the evolution of your soul.
    • Be open to the information coming through because your loved ones in spirit are doing their best to share information using a very intricate communication process that involves the transference of their messages through the use of all of the spirit medium’s senses. It is not as clear-cut or as simple as a fireside chat.
    • Know that anyone that has passed can come through, including in-laws, friends, family, acquaintances, co-workers, relations whom you never met but who know you from watching over you from heaven, your pets and others whom you knew or visited, and more.
    • Be aware that acquaintances, friends, and coworkers from your past may want to come through to let you know just how much their relationship with you meant to them.
  • Release your fears and trust in the existence of higher powers
    • Receiving communications from your loved ones in spirit is an incredible experience that originates from the most powerful force in the universe—love. This amazing force comes from our Creator who wants nothing but the best for each and every one of us.
    • Be aware that fears are often an illusion that block us from achieving our dreams and living the lives we are meant to live.
  • Prepare for your spirit medium reading
    • Familiarize yourself with the process. I provide articles and brief videos to help people understand how spirit communication works. In addition, I explain how spirits communicate with me prior to each reading that I provide.
    • Know that spirit communication is a very complex process that involves the full participation and cooperation of you, your loved ones in spirit, and the spirit medium.
  • Record your reading and/or take notes
    • If you do not remember a person or symbol right away, there is a good chance that you will remember later or that the information that shared will be revealed at a time in the near future. Having notes or a recording will allow you to revisit the information shared within a spirit medium reading, which may trigger memories, or you can reference it when an event occurs that was mentioned in your reading.
  • Be awake, alert, and sober as this is a special form of communication that requires your active participation
  • Allow time to grieve before contacting a spirit medium for a reading
    • In the first stage of grief, which includes feelings of anger and denial of the person’s passing, it is best to wait until your heart and spirit have begun to heal and accept the person’s or pet’s passing.
  • Do not be too hard on yourself if you temporarily forget loved ones or certain symbols
    • Taking notes or recording your reading will help you to remember.
    • There may be a reason outside of yourself as to why you are not remembering information right away. For instance, my sister-in-law’s experience with psychic amnesia was an important catalyst for life-altering events that occurred in my own life. She was not recognizing messages coming through from my father, and because of that, I felt compelled to visit the same spirit medium to see what he had to say. If these events had not occurred in this way, I may not have re-awakened to my own gifts of mediumship.

Relax and Enjoy the Experience of a Spirit Medium Reading
Most of all, it is important to make the most of your spirit medium reading by relaxing and allowing the process to naturally unfold. If you open yourself up to this incredible form of communication, the healing of spirit that comes from a spirit medium reading can change your life in amazing ways. Enjoy the communications that are coming through from your loved ones in spirit, as they as are motivated by love, which is the greatest gift that can be transmitted from one being to another.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Filed Under: Messages from Heaven, Spirit Medium Messages Tagged With: acquaintances, angels, co-workers, communication, complex, complex form of communication, creator, family, fear, friends, greatest gift, grief, grieving, higher power, in-laws, Karen Hluchan, love, loved ones in spirit, messages, motivated by love, open mind, phenomenon, psychic amnesia, re-awaken, relations, special form of communication, Spirit, Spirit Medium, spirit medium reading, trust, visions

The Importance of Self-Care

October 1, 2014 by SpiritMedium 2 Comments

Lake at Omega_300x200In the midst of life’s chaos it is very important to take time out to take care of you. Even with a multitude of responsibilities on your shoulders, if you keep pushing you will not only burn yourself out, but also will block you from opportunities that could make your way easier. God knows that you can only accomplish so much in one day. The Creator does not want you to push yourself to the point of exhaustion and illness, but rather when these times of great pressure occur, you are encouraged to take a step back from the hustle and bustle and just breathe.

Driven by the Human Ego
The chaos that we experience is based on a drive by the ego to make us believe that certain earthly concerns are of the utmost importance. The human ego has a very subtle and determined way of pushing our consciousness away from the divine, as well as the light and love that is within each one of us. Awareness of when the ego is steering your actions, which is usually accompanied by a feeling of heavy pressure and a sense that your life is out of your control, can help you to recognize when it is time to take a step back and make time for self-care.

But There Is So Much to Do!
It may seem counterintuitive to set the mountain of responsibilities aside in order to take care of you, especially when you think about how that time can be used to take a significant chunk out of those tasks. But if you stop and really think about it, when are our responsibilities ever truly completed? When does the list of tasks ever end? There will always be mundane projects, responsibilities, and tasks to accomplish, because once you finish one, there are five more that have jumped in line right behind it. Interestingly, the tasks you do get done in a day are the ones you were supposed to accomplish, even if some are still big ones left on the list undone. The pressure to complete them is usually self-created. Ask yourself this when looking at your list: Will the world come to an end if I do this tomorrow instead of right this second? By the way, for those of you who are procrastinators, this is not a license to throw all responsibilities to the wind. At some point, you will need to step up and take care of those tasks, and if you take measured steps each day, you will find that your tasks are getting accomplished.

Step Back and Carve Out
It is recommended that you, especially in the midst of chaos, take the time to step back and carve out some time just for you. Tasks will always be there, but the sun rising up out of the mist on a lake will wait for no one. Hug your kids, play with your pets, schedule a massage or energy healing session, create beauty in the world…do whatever brings you happiness and makes your spirit sing a song of joy.

Carpe Diem – Seize the Day!
This day is yours to enjoy. When reviewing your life, it will not be the hours of completing an endless litany of tasks that you will remember and cherish, but rather the magical moments of connection with the people and animals in your life, the awareness of divine intervention in the realization of your dreams, the incredible beauty of nature that gives breath to your soul, and the supreme love and synchronization that you have with yourself and all of creation.

Reaping the Harvest of Self-Love
Embracing the concept of self-care is also about embracing self-love. Caring for yourself—mind, body, and spirit—is not only important, but also as essential as the air we breathe. It is a conscious choice that you can make that will provide more long-term soul benefits than any mundane task on your list. Giving yourself the gift of self-care today will reap a harvest of peace within your soul that will quiet the rush of pressing tasks, and allow you to move forward once again with renewed energy and purpose.

Divine Opportunities Delivered with Wings
The pause in the seemingly ceaseless actions will give your heavenly support team an opportunity to step into your situation and answer your prayers. Pushing with the will of ego has a tendency to block out the light, as well as divine guidance and assistance. Some of the most powerful moments in my life have come during the times that I let go of the steering wheel and took time out for self-care. It is because I left an opening for the divine to step in and help me. It is in this stillness and the release of self-imposed pressure that you, too, may experience some of the most amazing circumstances of your life.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Filed Under: Guidance for Living, Messages from Heaven Tagged With: body, carpe diem, creator, divine intervention, divine opportunities, dreams, ego, god, great pressure, heavenly support team, human ego, just breathe, life's chaos, love, loved ones in spirit, mind, opportunities, peace, renewed energy, responsibilities, seize the day, self-care, self-love, soul, Spirit, supreme love, synchronization, tasks

Receiving Closure and Managing Grief Associated with the Loss of a Loved One

September 16, 2014 by SpiritMedium 2 Comments

AngelYour loved ones in spirit and other members of your heavenly support team know when you are struggling to move through certain stages of the grief process. While grieving for the loss of loved one is healthy, becoming stuck in a certain stage of the grief process can be very detrimental to your life.

Four Stages of the Grieving Process
The four main stages of the grieving process, which I describe in detail in my book, How Have You Loved?, are outlined below:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Sadness
  • Acceptance

A person may fluctuate between the various stages before they reach the final stage of acceptance and peace with a loved one’s passing. Often, people spend a lot of time in the second and third stages of anger and sadness. The anger is usually directed at God for “taking them away” from you, and the great sadness is often for the physical loss of the person’s presence in your life. It is important to note that God does not punish us. He does not call your loved ones back home to heaven in retaliation for any of your actions, past or present. When a soul is called home, it is because it is the time that was agreed to prior to birth.

Agreements Prior to Birth
The time and the manner in which someone physically passes is determined before a person is born on earth. In heaven, we create soul contracts which outline the various lessons that we are going to learn on our spiritual journey on earth. Members of our soul groups, such as our immediate families, coworkers, extended family members, and more, work with us to create plans that will enable each of our souls to grow and reach their full potential.

Life Lessons
The lessons that are selected may require great sacrifices, such as leaving life on earth at an early age in order to help others to learn how to cope with the tragic loss of a loved one. Successfully working through the various stages of grief and learning to accept a person’s passing are two examples of the outcomes of lessons. There is help along the way, such as messages sent to you by your loved ones in spirit, people who enter your life to provide assistance, and books that offer knowledge that broadens your understanding that endings must occur in order for new beginnings to take place.

Answers with Perfect Timing
The relationships that you have with the people around you can offer you powerful resources for healing in ways that you have not even imagined. Our heavenly support teams support us and work through us on earth by placing people in our paths at the right time and the right place. Friends, loved ones, acquaintances, and even strangers may provide answers to our prayers with a perfectly timed call, visit, or meeting that gives us the information we need about our lives. Many times, these instances seem like amazing coincidences; however, there are no coincidences, but rather fantastic examples of coordinated efforts by our heavenly support teams to answer our prayers and requests.

Heavenly Support Teams Join Together
It is interesting to note that people who come to me for spirit medium readings have actually been prompted to do so by their heavenly support teams. Your loved ones in heaven contact the loved ones in heaven who are helping me with my work on earth. Together, they begin the collaboration process to facilitate our meeting with one another.

Your heavenly support team knows when and how you would benefit from direct communications from your loved ones in spirit and the angels, and they ensure that you receive information that prompts you to set up an appointment with a spirit medium. Usually the prompting is both internal and external. You may receive messages and signs that stir your curiosity about mediumship or a reading, and you may have seemingly coincidental experiences occur in which a friend suddenly starts talking about spirit communication, or you see or read something that piques your interest about heaven and receiving messages from the Other Side.

Additionally, your loved ones in spirit will chime in by placing signs in your path that remind you of them and to, hopefully, prompt you to seek out a spirit medium or knowledge that will help you to interpret the signs and messages they send you. To get your attention, your loved ones in spirit may send you signs in the form of objects or images that make you think of them, unusual electronic disturbances that alert you to their presence, music that touches your soul and answers your prayers, and scents piped into the air, such as their perfume or cigarette smoke. Your heavenly support team will also send you intuitive messages in their attempts to steer you toward a meeting with a particular spirit medium, book, or positive path for growth.

Free Will is a Beautiful Gift
What you do with your life lessons and the promptings you receive is your choice. You may choose to ignore the assistance that makes itself known in your life every day, or you can choose to open yourself to the growth and healing that is available. Your loved ones in heaven and your angels want to help you succeed, and they will do what they can to help you on your journey. When you choose to ignore lessons and assistance, you tend to make your journey on earth significantly more challenging for yourself. When you keep an open mind and embrace the mentality that life is a spiritual journey for the benefit of the soul, then you can learn how to live your life in a way that allows the greatest benefit while releasing self-imposed stress, grief, and sadness. The beauty of the gift of free will is that each one of us is given the power to control the choices we make that govern our lives.

You Can Take It With You!
Even though someone may be physically separated from you on earth, your relationship with that person, as well as the love you share, continues on. Your loved ones in spirit watch over you from heaven, they hear your thoughts about them, and feel the love that you send their way. In return, they continuously send you messages of love, healing, and guidance, as well signs that they are around.

Receiving Closure
Your loved ones in spirit know how you would benefit from receiving information that provides healing to your heart and your soul. When participating in a spirit medium reading, they will share with you their love, information about what they are doing in heaven, advice for you about your life, information that will help heal your heart and soul, and more. The peace and healing that comes from receiving direct messages from your loved ones in spirit through a spirit medium reading can provide comfort and closure to those who are grieving, as well as guidance and light for you and your loved ones on earth.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Filed Under: Guidance for Living, Messages from Heaven, Spirit Medium Messages Tagged With: angels, closure, comfort, direct messages, evolution of the soul, free will, god, grief, grieving process, guidance, healing, heart, Heaven, heavenly support team, How Have You Loved, interpret the signs, life lessons, love, loved ones in heaven, loved ones in spirit, managing grief, mediumship, messages, other side, participating in a spirit medium reading, peace, perfect timing, receiving closure, receiving messages from the Other Side, soul, soul contract, soul evolution, soul group, Spirit, Spirit Medium, spirit medium reading, stages of grief, tragic loss

Reiki Energy Healing: Feel Your Best and Enhance Your Spiritual Journey

September 4, 2014 by SpiritMedium 2 Comments

Reiki Energy FlowAll living beings are comprised of energy, including human beings. When we experience stress or are exposed to harmful or negative energies, it can have an effect on the energies that comprise our minds, bodies, and spirits. Most of the time, our systems are self-healing; however, when we are continually exposed to distressing or disruptive energies, our systems may struggle to right themselves. When we leave the issues unaddressed, it can lead to physical illness, mental distress, or blockages to spiritual development. Reiki Energy Healing naturally restores you to your optimum self through the utilization of the universal life force energies that come from our Creator.

Rediscovered in 1922 by Dr. Mikao Usui, a practicing Buddhist from Japan, and brought to the United States by Hawaiian-born Hawayo Takada, Reiki energy healing provides a way to help your system to heal itself by sending restorative energies to the areas that are negatively affected by extenuating circumstances and stress. Reiki practitioners channel the healing energies with love and the positive intention of restoring you to your optimum state of being.

As the recipient of a Reiki energy healing session, you will feel relaxed and rejuvenated as the reviving energy flows through the practitioner to you. Reiki can be applied for the removal of accumulated negative energies, as well as for preventative and maintenance purposes, the healing of minor ailments, and as an accompanying treatment to traditional medicinal practices for major conditions, such as arthritis, sinusitis, and cancer.

Reiki is soothing to the soul. It can be applied to uplift energy, improve effectiveness of medicine, and to maximize nutritional value of food and drink. Anyone can be taught how to utilize Reiki energy through formal workshops that teach the traditions and methods for transferring the energies to the self and others. In addition, Reiki can assist in the opening of your spiritual centers to make you more receptive to the messages and guidance from loved ones and the angels. Your personal spiritual journey can only be enhanced through this natural healing practice that you can access at any time throughout your life.

There are three levels of Reiki workshops. Each successive workshop provides increasing degrees of expertise, up to and including, the ability to be a formal practitioner and master teacher. Each level of Reiki includes a special attunement that increasingly opens up a student’s ability to skillfully channel more of the universal life force energy. Level 1 delves into the history and traditions of Reiki, and includes methodologies and symbology for self-healing and minor healing for others. Level 2 is for those interested in becoming a practitioner and/or setting up a formal practice and includes more advanced healing techniques. Level 3 is for those interested in becoming a Master, which is the highest level of Reiki and imbues the student with the ability to teach Reiki to others.

To learn more about Reiki energy healing sessions or workshops, visit the Reiki Energy Healing or the Workshops pages on my website: www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Filed Under: Alternative Healing, Guidance for Living Tagged With: angels, attunement, chakras, creator, energy healing, expertise, Hawayo Takada, healing, light, love, medicinal practices, Mikao Usui, natural healing, natural healing practice, optimum self, optimum state of being, practitioner, Reiki, Reiki energy, reiki master, self-healing, soul, Spirit, spiritual centers, spiritual journey, Takada, universal life force, uplift energy, Usui, workshop

When and How to Say No

August 21, 2014 by SpiritMedium Leave a Comment

Confident WomanLoving who you are and believing in yourself means that you value yourself enough to know when to say no to someone who wants to take advantage of your kindness or who wants you to do something you really do not want to do. People who were raised to always be polite or are looking for approval and acceptance from others can have a tendency to agree to certain actions that they do not want to participate in because they are afraid of being perceived as rude or they are afraid of being rejected.

It Starts with You
Love and respect comes from within you. You must respect and honor yourself and your feelings. If you do not, others will not respect and honor you either. The person or persons who do not respect your right to say no may not have your best interests at heart. If they continue to push you, they are most likely trying to force their own agenda onto you. Some people may have legitimate and honorable reasons for doing so; however, if there is something you do not want to do, then you should not do it.

Own Your Personal Power
It is also important to note that when you say no, you do not have to give reasons or excuses. This may be tough to do at first because societal conditioning regarding excessive politeness and strong desires to fit in or be liked may prompt you to want to give an excuse to garner approval. Excuses are like weak links in your self-esteem, they give someone more information that they can use as a way of breaking your resistance to their request or demand. Your reasons are your own, and you do not need to explain yourself to anyone. If someone continues to aggressively push you, you have the right to step away from the situation. Again, anyone who tries to push you that hard is most likely focusing on an agenda that will not benefit you, especially if they are asking you to compromise yourself or your values.

How are You Treating Others?
On the other side of this, if you are aggressively trying to convince someone to do something that they do not want to do, it would be best to respect their decision. It is possible to open up a dialog that could result in an equitable compromise; however, each person involved must be in agreement as to how to proceed. The solution should not overly tax one person’s resources over another’s, nor should you have to compromise your values or yourself in order to achieve an equitable agreement that supports all parties involved.

Healing Begins with Dialog
Saying no to someone just to be spiteful or taking actions against someone out of spite is another matter altogether. This type of behavior is vengeful and is based on a desire to hurt someone. If you find yourself doing this, you may want to take a close look at why you chose to respond in this manner. If someone has hurt you, answering their misinformed behavior by attempting to deliver pain will not bring about healing. It will only escalate the painful situation even more, and may bring about disastrous results for both parties. A healthier way to handle this situation would be to discuss with the person or persons involved the actions or behaviors that brought you pain. Give them a chance to explain why they acted the way they did. Sometimes, people are not aware that their actions hurt you. By talking about it, you are giving yourselves the opportunity to foster understanding and healing through open dialog.

What to Do if Conversation Is not Possible
If a conversation is not possible because the person refuses to listen or if it would put you in a position that threatens your safety, then it may be best for you to walk away from this relationship and forgive them for their actions. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone their actions. It means that you are unwilling to carry toxic feelings within your heart. By cleansing yourself of the negative feelings brought about by carrying grudges, you can free yourself of the emotional black cloud you have been attracting and invite more positive experiences in your life. Remember, like attracts like. If your thoughts are concentrated on negative experiences, you will most likely draw more of the same toward you. When your thoughts are more positive and based on forgiving people for the mistakes they have made, then you will most likely draw more loving and understanding relationships into your life.

Honor and Respect Multiplies
Honor yourself by making decisions that are in alignment with you and your values. When you give in and do things that you do not want to do, you are giving other people the power to take advantage of you. You can retain your power in a healthy and assertive way by standing up for yourself in a calm and self-assured manner. Aggressiveness, yelling, and strong-arming tactics create unhealthy relationship dynamics that often lead to negative consequences. You can be polite and tell people no at the same time. In fact, they may even respect you more for it because respect for yourself cultivates respect from others.

Ask for Help
If you need help believing in yourself, learning how to say no, or communicating from your heart when facing trying circumstances, you can always call on your heavenly support team to assist you. Ask them to lend you the spiritual strength you need to stand up for yourself in a positive way or to resolve the situation in a way that is for the good of all parties involved. Know that your loved ones in spirit, your angels, and your spirit guides want you to succeed on your spiritual journey on earth, and will send love, peace, and spiritual strength when you ask for it.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Filed Under: Guidance for Living, Messages from Heaven, Spirit Medium Messages Tagged With: angels, assertiveness, believe in yourself, communicating from your heart, compromise, confident, conversation, dialog, equitable agreement, facing trying circumstances, forgiveness, foster understanding, heavenly support team, Hluchan, honor, Karen Hluchan, learning how to say no, looking for approval, love, loved ones in spirit, making decisions, misinformed behavior, namaste, negative emotions, peace, politeness, respect, self-assured, self-esteem, societal conditioning, spirit guides, Spirit Medium, spiritual strength, standing up for yourself, walking away

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