Suffering from abuse as a child, whether it is verbal, physical, or sexual, can have a significant impact on your life as an adult. Often, people who are abused at a young age experience problems relating with others on a personal level. This is because their earliest experiences with relationships brought them pain, and eroded their trust and belief in others. The very people who were supposed to love and protect them introduced them to a world of hurt instead. Because of this treatment early in life, there are special challenges that people who are abused face regarding self-esteem, feelings of abandonment, a lack of feeling safe and loved, and the ability to trust others.
Fear of Retribution Leads to Underreporting and Unhealthy Relationships
Often, cases of abuse go unreported. Children who are abused are usually threatened by their abusers with more pain, or even death, if they tell someone about the horrors that they are living through. The people committing the abuse may also put the responsibility for the abuse on the children by telling them that it is their fault it is happening. Because children are in the formative stages of social development and look to adults for behavioral cues, they often accept the blame and internalize the resulting pain and confusion. Therefore, children often suffer in silence. In their minds, they are afraid to tell anyone and often pretend that they are happy, even when they are suffering. They become masters at hiding their feelings by keeping problems and secrets to themselves. They also may come to believe that their feelings are not as important as those of others, and may often put the needs of others before their own. These learned behaviors are a direct result of the way their abusers treated them. Tragically, this forms a skewed and damaged basis for future relationships for many of these children.
Healing Over a Lifetime
The personal journey of healing from childhood abuse may involve a lifetime of searching for peace, trust, safety, and love. Forgiveness plays a very important role in the healing process, as does learning how to love who you are. As adults, we can look back and try to make peace with what has occurred by extending forgiveness to all who have hurt us. Remember, forgiveness does not mean that you condone hurtful actions, it means that you consciously release painful situations in order to move forward with your life and growth. You may even get to the point where you see how these events made you more compassionate and empathetic toward others. Therapy and self-help books may also play an important role in working through the pain by learning how to relate to others and to build trust. Even though these steps may be taken, some people may still experience difficulties in their relationships. Because of the damage from the past, certain issues may trigger negative memories and, therefore, cause guards to be raised due to a perceived threat to their emotional or physical safety. Left unaddressed, the angst may build to unprecedented levels. The pressure may cause that person to withdraw from relationships, become depressed or even suicidal, lash out at others for seemingly no reason, express extreme fear or distrust, engage in unhealthy behaviors, cause self-inflicted pain, or exhibit other negative behaviors that are not easily comprehended by others.
Support and Love from Above
The true pathway to freedom from the effects of childhood abuse begins from within. It is a very spiritual and personal journey. People who are or have been abused need to know that their feelings matter, that their voice is heard, and that they are safe and loved. They also need to know that their experiences were not a punishment from God. As a person who has experienced childhood abuse firsthand, I know this journey well. I have traversed every aspect of its effects and have searched high and low for the reasons, as well as how I can heal and get back the trust and feeling of safety that was taken from me. From the depths of my soul, I have searched for ways to help myself and others with these issues. Therapy has helped; however, the most powerful answers and guidance I have received have come from my heavenly support team, including God. In order to receive the information, I had to go within and pay attention to what they were communicating with me through my soul.
My First Meeting with God
The first time God came to me, I was struggling with relationship issues. I felt like I was running on a treadmill of recycling negative issues and going nowhere fast. I was getting mad at God and asking why I was experiencing the same issues over and over again. In great despair one night, I cried myself to sleep, feeling hopeless and broken. When I woke up the next morning, I laid in bed not ready to get up yet and face the day. It was then that I experienced an incredible wash of love that came over me, accompanied by a brilliant white light that filled my vision. The feeling and the light were so strong and all-encompassing that I knew it was not of this earth. I knew in my soul that it was God sending his love directly to me, and that he wanted me to know, without a doubt, that I was loved. It was such a profound and magnificent experience that I never wanted it to end. Even now as I write about it, that feeling of love is still there, and I know that I can reach out and feel it in my soul whenever I need help. It was God’s way of telling me that he loves me and is always there for me whenever I need him.
My Second Meeting with God
The second time God came to me was during a similar time a few years later. I was getting so mad at God and asking him why he was testing me with painful situations over and over again. I felt I had suffered enough in my lifetime, and I wanted to know why he felt it necessary to keep torturing me. As before, I cried myself to sleep. The next morning, I awoke and did not get out of bed right away. As I lay there, I had a vision of being carried in God’s arms up a large, white staircase which looked like it was made of marble. God was carrying me like he would a baby, cradled in the safety of his arms and wrapped in his love. He was wearing a long and flowing white robe with a sash cinched at the waist. At the time, I could not see his face. As he carried me up the steps, he assured me that he was not testing me. He said he was my father and, like a father, it was not his job to step in and save me from all of the difficult situations I encountered. If he did, I would not learn or grow. He said it was hard to watch me struggle, but he knew that if he stepped in it would do me more harm than good. God told me he loved me and that he was always there for me, even when he could not intervene. He also said we are to love one another as he loves us—unconditionally, and that it is our connection with one another that makes us strong. As he climbed the wide steps, I could see a landing and then a second set of steps extending up to a place where a blinding white light shone. It actually hurt my eyes to look at it. I knew with all of my soul this was the light of heaven, and that it was not my time to go there yet. As we reached the first landing, I noticed two white thrones sitting side by side. They were exact replicas, except in size. God set me down on the landing and sat in the larger throne while guiding me to sit in the smaller throne to his left. He reached his left hand out and took my hand in his. Without words, we sat holding hands like old friends sitting together in the comfortable silence of each other’s company.
Profound Experiences Lead to Profound Understanding
Those profound experiences with God shook up my world. My understanding of why we are here and what we are meant to accomplish started to open up. There was never a doubt in my mind that God exists, I just was not sure of what his role was in my life until then. Instead of seeing God as the one responsible for my pain, I saw him as a friend, a father, and an almighty being who loved me enough to know when to step back and let me grow. Through further exploration with my heavenly support team, I received messages about the soul contracts we make before we are reborn on earth. Many of these contracts contain agreements to experience difficult circumstances in order to grow as souls. Instead of viewing my abuse as a karmic punishment from God, I saw it as a profound experience for learning how to reconnect with the heart of my spirit and to understand our true reasons for being.
Misguided, Not Evil
On an important note, the people who commit the act of abuse are not inherently evil. They are misguided human beings who also have difficult lessons to learn in their lifetimes. Believe it or not, we made the agreement through a soul contract to experience painful circumstances that were meant to push each of us to learn and become better people. Whether we actually do learn and grow is entirely up to each individual. For those who are abused, there are many lifetime lessons including learning how to reconnect with the beauty of our souls, how to forgive, and how to trust in God and others. People who have committed abuse have lifetime lessons of their own, including learning about how hurting others hurts themselves, how to respect and honor the self and others, as well as how to overcome the internal shame and pain of mistreating others.
Reconnecting with Your Heavenly Support Team
Whether you have been abused, committed abuse, or are in relationships affected by abuse, we are all here to learn lessons about love, forgiveness, and compassion. We can help each other in positive ways by speaking and working from the heart, and reconnecting with the best friends we will ever have – ourselves and God. You and God are together on this journey, and it is a relationship that is built upon love and trust. I did not always trust God because of the difficult experiences I had in my life, but now I do, and I find I have more peace in my heart than I have ever had before. This does not mean I no longer fall back from time to time into feelings of angst. It means I am quicker to recognize and understand why I am experiencing upsetting emotional reactions. I now know how to better handle the situations that trigger those feelings. Trust and love is built. Sometimes it takes baby steps to get there, especially when you have experienced hurtful circumstances during the foundational years of your life. Your guys and gals in heaven have your back, and they will help you. Your job is to trust in their assistance, and follow through on the guidance you receive from them through repeated signs and messages.
May Peace be with You
Be at peace, and know that everything you experience has a divine purpose. God is not punishing you; rather, he is helping you to grow into the beautiful being that you are today. Our job is to help ourselves and others to heal through compassion and love, as well as through faith in the divine circumstances that help us to grow as souls.
With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan
Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?