When you sit for a spirit medium reading with me, there are two parts to the reading for each loved one in spirit who comes through. The first part of the reading involves identifying the loved one coming through, and the second part of the reading involves the sharing of his or her personal message for you. It is very important to identify who is there in spirit before sharing the message, because who it is coming from is as important as the message itself. Without knowing the identity of the message sender, some messages would make little to no sense to the receiver.
How Information is Transmitted
When spiritual beings communicate with me, they utilize all of my senses—sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste, and inner-knowing (the sixth sense)—for mind to mind communication. Instead of processing information that is picked up by the senses and sent to the brain from outside of myself, I need to focus within to pick up on the information that is being transferred to me from your loved ones in spirit. The process is much more complex than just sitting down and talking with someone. Spiritual beings no longer inhabit a physical body and, therefore, must use their minds and other energetic means to communicate across dimensions. It is an abstract form of communication that requires absolute trust, openness, and receptivity from me, openness and receptivity from you, and clarity and loving strength from your loved ones in spirit.
Confidentiality and Ethics
As a spirit medium, it is my job to clearly relay the information I am receiving in an ethical, honest, and responsible way. It is a great honor to be able to serve you and all spiritual beings through my gifts, and I treat each communication that I receive and share with the reverence it deserves. Because of the very private information that is shared in a reading, I also take your confidentiality very seriously. While, in a teaching setting, I may give examples of certain communications that come through in a reading, I do not disclose names or identities. Private information remains private. This even holds true for my own family members. When I provide a reading, the information remains confidential. It is up to the person sitting for the reading to share what he or she wants to divulge with others.
Part One: Validating the Identity of the Communicator
Questions and Responses
When giving a reading, I have a set of questions that I ask your loved ones in spirit when you and I are working together to identify them. The questions are basic in the beginning, and then they become more in-depth as we go deeper into the validation process. For instance, I ask “Are you male or female?” and “What did you look like?” In response, I receive warmth on the right or left side of my body to indicate male or female, and I am sent an image of your loved one which usually shows what they looked like close to the time of their passing, as you would remember them best, or as they would like to be remembered. The image that they send not only shows me how they looked, but also may give me keys to understanding your loved one’s personality and identity, as well as the relationship they have with you. For instance, when a man comes through wearing red or maroon, this indicates to me that he is a father figure to you. If he is wearing a flannel shirt, it indicates that he may have been more of the outdoorsy type who preferred to spend time outside more than inside. At the same time, he may be creating a tingling sensation in both my hands and sending me an image of a machine shop, indicating that he worked with his hands using the machinery that I am seeing.
Identifying the Communicator
As the information is transmitted, I share it with you, the sitter. When I have gathered enough specific information that could help you to identify a loved one, I will ask whether this person or animal (pets do come through!) sounds familiar to you. The best answer you can give is yes, no, or I don’t know. If the person sounds familiar, but you are not quite sure of who it is, please state that. More information will be brought forth to help you identify them. If you say no and continue to do so as more information is brought forth, I will have to ask your loved one to step aside, and a message from that particular loved one will not be shared. It is important to note that when loved ones come through in a reading, they are yours. They are not mine, nor are they random beings popping in to intrude on your reading. They could be a deceased friend, family member, a pet of yours or of someone you know or knew, neighbor, in-law, acquaintance, or co-worker. It could be a great grandmother that you never met, but who knows you from seeing you from heaven. If this is the case, there may be records, photographs, and people still living that may be able to help you confirm the identity of the person coming through.
My best advice is to keep an open mind. You never know who is going to come through in a reading, nor do you know how they are going to come through, or what messages they will share with you. Remember, they are coming through with information from their point of view, not yours, and they also have the benefit of understanding more about life on earth now that they are in heaven.
Deeper into the Validation
As I am sharing information with you, I am, at the same time, asking for more information from your loved one in spirit about what he or she did for a living, and how he or she passed. You do not hear that part of the communication because I am asking those questions directly to your loved ones in spirit using my mind, not speaking them out loud. In addition to seeing what the communicator looked like, they will also send me symbols that mean something to you, and will help you to identify them. For example, as I was describing a father figure who was coming through, he sent me an image of a lemon. I asked the sitter if this meant something to her in relation to her father, and she replied that it did…her father used to eat lemons raw. This piece of information, in addition to the description of him and various other factors about his personality, what he did for a living, and how he passed, confirmed for her that it was indeed her father. He was well-known for eating this unique culinary delight. The symbols are unique for each individual, and are sent to help trigger your memories of them.
As I mentioned, all of my senses are utilized during a spirit medium reading, and your loved ones in spirit may be communicating with me utilizing several of them at the same time. This rapid overlapping of visions, sounds, tastes, smells, feelings, and knowingness creates a richer and more detailed communication that helps both you and me to identify and understand the messages that are being conveyed. For instance, when I am trying to identify how a person passed, I may be feeling a push like an impact in the region of my chest, seeing a car rolling over, and hearing the word “accident” all at the same time. This indicates to me that the person most likely passed due to an impact to the chest during a car accident.
Wanting to Hear from a Particular Loved One
If for some reason a loved one in spirit does not come through in a reading, it does not mean that they do not love you or want to communicate with you. There are many reasons why this might happen. For instance, other loved ones in spirit may want to share messages during a particular reading because the message coming from them would have a greater impact on your life. It may also be too soon to hear from someone in spirit. Even though contact can be made with loved ones who are recently passed, it is a good idea to give both them and you time to adjust to the transitions that have occurred. For those of us on earth, we need time to grieve. For those who have passed, they need time to reorient themselves to heaven. In most cases, it is good to wait at least two months before sitting for reading in which you hope to hear from a person who has passed. That said, when people ask to hear from a particular person I cannot guarantee that they will come through. I can ask them to join us for the reading; however, it is up to your loved one in spirit whether they come through at that time. Free will is a gift that is ours to keep, including after we cross over into heaven.
Let the Information Flow
Your loved ones in spirit do their best to convey information in a way that helps you to readily identify who they are in order to get to the heart of the reading, which is their personal message to you. One way to bog down this process is to continually interject questions such as, “What is their name?” or “If this is really my cousin, where did she go on vacation in 1972?” If it is appropriate for your loved ones in spirit to furnish this information in a reading, they will do so without prompting. They do not have time during a reading to give every minute detail of your life or theirs. They truly are doing their best to communicate. Some loved ones in spirit are more skilled than others at communicating with spirit mediums. Like any skill, it is knowledge that is learned, and some have had more practice at it than others.
Even though you may have a set idea in your mind about the information you would like to receive, it is important to know that I, as the spirit medium, receive only the information that is shared by your loved ones in spirit. He or she decides the type of information to be imparted, and this might not include preconceived notions of what you think they would share with you. Continually interjecting with questions has the potential to disrupt the flow of spirit-to-spirit communication, which requires a steady energetic connection and level of concentration that exceeds every day communications.
In my mind, I like to think of us as a team working together in harmony to transmit, receive, and share communications across the dimensions. By permitting communications to naturally flow from their spirit through mine to yours, you are allowing your loved ones in spirit to convey messages in the way they think is best, which will help you to get the most out of your reading. After you have identified your loved one in spirit and they have shared their messages with you, you can ask questions of them if you have them.
Part Two: Personal Messages for You
Sharing Knowledge, Love, and Guidance
Once the identity of your loved one in spirit has been established, it is time for part two of the communication process with your loved one in spirit – his or her personal messages for you. There is always an important reason for a loved one coming through in a reading. Often, they share messages of import regarding your life. This could be about events that occurred in the past, are occurring presently, or will occur in the future. Your loved ones in spirit watch over you from heaven, and they know what you are in need of with regard to your life. That said, what they share with you is not trivial. They have gone through a lot of effort to communicate across dimensions, and what they share could have a profound effect on your life and the evolution of your soul.
Messages of love, forgiveness, guidance, and more are shared with the hope that you, the sitter, will be open and receptive to the messages. For example, I have had loved ones in spirit come through asking for forgiveness for abusive treatment, neglect, or having a hard time sharing love. The forgiveness that he or she is asking for is not for the benefit of the communicator, but for the recipient of the reading. It may be imperative for the sitter to release all of the pent up negativity and resentment against this person in order to move on with his or her life, and begin to establish healthier relationships with others. Other times, loved ones come through to let a sitter know that they are, indeed, in heaven and at peace, and that his or her passing was meant to be. Each message that comes through is crafted with divine love, and gets to the heart of matters that are most important to the sitter from the viewpoint of heaven. It is up to the sitter whether he or she chooses to accept the information given, and to use it in a way that uplifts and improves his or her life.
Both parts of a spirit medium reading are equally important to you, the sitter. Validating the identity of the being coming through establishes the connection between you and your loved ones in spirit, and also provides the background context for the messages you are about to receive from them. The messages that come through from your loved ones in spirit contain invaluable pieces of information that come from the heart of their spirit to yours, and are divinely conceived and directed.
It is my hope that this article provided you with a more thorough understanding of how spirit communication works, as well as an appreciation for the complex process of communicating spirit-to-spirit. I also hope that it allows you to get the most out of your next spirit medium reading.
With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan
Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?