We are living through some very interesting times right now. There is great chaos, loneliness, and rage which swirls throughout our world, creating a negative and unpleasant pall over what could be a better life for all. Pervasive fear-based thoughts have the ability to obscure love and cause people to take hurtful actions toward one another. I think there are people who have forgotten how to love or are afraid of loving with their whole selves.
There is Honor in Love
It can be scary to think of how much pain someone can inflict on you by not loving you with similar caring. I know how much it hurts to face the unflinching truth that you have been loving someone with everything you have, only to come to the realization your love is not being returned. To experience multiple relationships in which love is denied breaks your heart and dims your light for a bit, as sadness threatens to creep in and take over. It is in these moments we can learn to love ourselves and to appreciate all that we gave in honor of love, in honor of another, and in honor of ourselves. Even though the other party did not reciprocate, it does not mean we are any less for the experience. If anything, we learned the ways we love. We learned how to recognize what we do not want in our lives. We learned how to stand up to diversity and challenges. We learned how to get up again after we stumble or fall. Because we WILL try again. Our hearts and souls were made from love and for love. There are people out there who will love us for who we are, who will understand us, who will be kind and caring, and who will respect the beautiful souls we are. Proof of this rests within our own hearts. If we have it, others have it. I have never regretted loving someone, even if the love I shared was not reciprocated. It is from those experiences I have learned. Most importantly, I know I gave it my all, was true to myself, and put forth my authentic self.
Be Your Authentic Self
In many ways, people hide their true feelings, are afraid to be themselves for fear of judgment, and may feel beaten down by life. Life is not an easy road. People will judge you, but that does not mean you need to take their judgments to heart. Examine where these judgments are coming from. Are they hurtful insults spouted out of fear from another person or are they truthful assessments of who you are? There are many obstacles we encounter in life, however, by being honest with yourself and letting your authentic self shine through without fear, you can truly enjoy a more satisfying existence. When life is lived on a surface level, you rob yourself of incredible experiences. Lack of depth acts as a shield, preventing love from getting through. It is only through risk that we achieve and receive the wonderful gifts of this world. Learning to move past fears opens up opportunities and welcomes in the potential for greatest experiences love can bring.
Loving Yourself and Others
Simple ways to show love include attentively listen when someone is speaking, being mindful of other people’s feelings by putting ourselves in another’s shoes, respecting and caring for one another as human beings who are on this tough journey together, being partners who work together toward common goals while also attending to our personal spiritual journeys, and giving from the heart. I say these are simple because we all have the ability within us to do these things; to take these actions. They cost us our time, but they do not cost us our love, because we have an endless supply of it. Life is actually so much more enjoyable when we love one another, when we know we can count on someone to be there for us and us for them. In order to do this, we must also love ourselves by showing ourselves the love and kindness we deserve. Work on halting negative self-talk by replacing it with positive affirmations about yourself. We all make mistakes. Learning from them and taking responsibility for them are two of the most important lessons we receive from making mistakes. Objectively examine the events which have taken place, including your role. Are there other actions you could have taken? If so, what would they be? How can you do better the next time? Have you sincerely apologized? Are you willing to work towards improving or eliminating the behaviors which caused the missteps? Remember to forgive yourself in order to give yourself the opportunity to move past the feelings of self-disappointment and progress toward self-improvement.
Forgiveness Mends the Soul
As for extending forgiveness to others, deeply consider their actions, as well as the genuineness of their request for forgiveness. Is this a person who repeatedly makes the same mistakes and has shown no desire to improve? Has this person severely crossed boundaries and inflicted great pain on yourself or others you love? Was there a miscommunication? Is this a person who truly has a desire to learn and grow from this situation? You will know the difference. You will know in your soul whether someone has your best interests at heart. Listen within to your own personal guidance system, known as your intuition, and pay attention to the red flags alerting you of any trouble. You can forgive. You can also make the choice not to spend time with a particular person. Forgiveness is not condoning. It is a releasing of pent up pain by letting go of the anger, resentment, and disappointment, and embracing a new path of freedom from pain with clarity and decisiveness. You do not need to invest more time in someone who is not willing to discontinue their behaviors or admit their actions were in error. Loving who you are also means knowing when to walk away from situations that are not in alignment with the way you want to be treated. You can release the situation and the residual pain by sending forgiveness from the heart of your spirit to theirs. You do not need to be in their presence to do this. By freeing yourself of these negative and unproductive energies, you provide yourself the opportunity to live a more satisfying and happy life by investing your time and energies into that which brings happiness to your soul.
When you do forgive someone and want to move forward with them, be kind. They know and have admitted wrongdoing. Give them a chance to show you they meant what they said. There are times when people slide backwards a bit, but as long as they continually strive to do better with genuine efforts, it may be worth it to give them another chance. You would want the same if you were in their shoes.
Reinvest in Love
I would love to see a reinvestment in love on this earth. Lately, there has been a significant emphasis on negativity and hurting one another. This trend can be countered with a tremendous amount of love. It starts with each and every one of us taking actions each day to not only show and share love, but also be open to receiving it by letting others into our hearts. As a society of people on a collective spiritual journey, we can help one another by lifting each other up, by loving who we are, and by loving others for who they are. Each interaction we have with one another can help us to take steps toward healing the epidemic of loneliness and rage that has crept into our world. Each act of kindness and genuine caring touches souls who then pass that along to the next soul. We have the power to change this world. Let us work together to be the positive change we want to experience on our collective spiritual journey.
With Love and Light,
Karen T. Hluchan
Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, Spiritual Artist, & Author of How Have You Loved?